So we're into our third day of temps soaring into the 90s. That officially makes it a heat wave. Eh, you know how it is; some people get nasty, others just drink themselves into oblivion to avoid the uncomfortably. And yet others become extremely creative in finding ways to deal with the heat. You can learn a lot about the true nature of people by observing how they act in prolonged and unbearable heat. At this point in the wave, you'll begin to notice the strange and silly behavior that the citizens of our great borough are capable of and you'll realize; "OMG - I'm living in a borough full of shameless, unadulterated weirdos!"
For instance, on days like this I head straight to the beach after work. (I don't mess with this heat.) But I'm always fairly well-prepared for the excursion - meaning I wear a bathing suit. But when you head down to Coney on a weekday at 5:30 or so wearing a bathing suit in a heat wave, you'll often find yourself in the minority. Underwear is clearly the most popular attire at this hour. For this reason, my appearance is usually frowned upon by the skivvies crew.
Of course, beach people are somewhat unique especially after hours - in a heat wave. They aren't the type to sit on their stoop and complain with the neighbors about it. Sit around a suffer in blazing city heat? - hell no! They're going to do something about their discomfort and they're going to have a little fun in the process.
For high school kids, the after-hours beach scene brings out their mischievous and thrill-seeking conduct. This works out as a nightly game of cat and mouse as they defy Parks Dept Security and sneak back into the refreshing ocean waters before they get chased out again. After the lifeguards leave the bench, the scenario usually works itself out like this:
Parks Security travels east on the beach
and summon the remaining waders out of
the water. They continue their rounds and...
Folks get right back in.
A second Parks Dept crew makes their westward sweep
of the beach to admonish the defiant and then leave.
This is when it gets interesting:
A healthy, young crew of teenagers tumbles the chair to the shoreline and...
into the water.
And the real fun begins...
But what's this on the west side of the beach???
Could it be?
Yes. A second guard chair has made its way into the ocean.
More mischief ensues before Parks
Security returns for the final time.
Beach personnel face the problem of hoisting
the chairs out of the water in the morning.
Oh yeah, and while we're on the topics of bad behavior on the beach, I'll address a much greater travesty. See below:
Com'on people. WTF? How hard is it to pick up your mess and put it in a can. Nevermind answering that question. Just clean up after yourselves before you meet the same fate as those double-crossing media informants mentioned in my previous post.