Saturday, May 24, 2008

Tough Talking Tots!

Maybe some of you read all the hoopla about some chalkings in the Argyle Tot Lot as posted on the Ditmas Park Blog a few weeks ago.  If not, check it out here: Tot Lot Graffiti: Free Tibet Bitch.  My take on all that is that those 'political statements' were written by kids. And, you know what?: Brooklyn kids have always been and may always will be some pretty tough-talking specimens - and you better believe they mean what they're saying. So if a frickin' Brooklyn kid tells ya to "Free Tibet, Bitch" then Free Tibet, Bitch!  

Yet, apparently another neighborhood playground has trumped the Argyle kids in the tough-talking category. Clearly the Hot Spot Tot Lot (Ave H & Campus Road) is the arena for some mean-ass tots and they have RULES. I happened upon these chalkings Saturday morning. Do I worry that my six-year old will be transforming into one of these meanies because she read these chalkings? Nah, she said she would give the bad kids who wrote these words a big time-out. (And guess from whom she learned the effectiveness of that penalty!)

Are you ready to learn the RULES?  Well Here ya go...

Did you get that?
No talking
No no NO holding hands
Just sit down 
and don't play 
I say 
No singing
No writting
Also I will 
kill you if you 
stand up!!

You read that right.

Here's another little tyrants set of RULES:

You can play. 
No taking crap. 
No peeing.
You can smack 
people with the swing...
You can 
show your
 ass and your pennise
and (? something)

Now pay attention to these ones kids. These are the most important rules of the Hot Spot playground:

No twisting or 
(? something will happen to you.)

Ok.  Got that straight now?  Good, because these kids aren't messing around. Just try to kick up in the Hot Spot Playground singing the Itsy-Bitsy Spider or the ABCs.  I dare you!


BestViewInBrooklyn said...

This is fantastic. Nothing like an attempt at order at the Tot Lot. I can't wait to see what turns up at our playground.

Unknown said...

Wow! Some tots are more equal than other tots!

Anonymous said...

I was disheartened and disillusioned to read your rewriting of the history of “The Rules”. First, no one over 18-unless they had been left back a few years or had money to share had any say on what happened in the school yards. Am I, a member of the real resistance, (Brats with Hats) one of the few last survivors who remembers the glory days before the great invasion of borough hoppers and ½ breeds. If so: School yard RULES!!!! Mind your f****business, pass the glue bag, keep your f***** mouth shut, and no grubbing allowed.

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